PANIC

This is the low point. A few minutes ago I was going nuts over tomorrow morning's solo. That's right, singing in front of at least a few hundred people. Normally I'm calm and collected - no sweat, no problem. I'm used to being in the limelight... but a few minutes ago, I was in sheer, utter, pitiful panic. It's the night before the performance and I have nothing to sing, never mind finding an outfit to wear.

Two weeks ago I was asked to sing for church. As usual I gave an easy nod and then brushed the thought away. The monologues in my head said, why prepare? It's really nothing. I'm a pro, I could learn a song and perfect it in half an hour! I've done it a million times.

Hhhhmmmm... my hotshot self was proven wrong tonight. Perhaps it was the anxiety of picking the song and then being impatient to learn it to perfection. It was a disaster. After an hour of polishing a song that I finally picked with high levels of anxiety, I pressed the panic button. More so telephoned my brother to practice early tomorrow morning for a song I already sang last week. So sad. *bows head in shame*

What a cop out! I'm so disappointed in myself. Pride, Pride, Pride... with the unfortunate fall of my self-esteem.

"You just need to be patient. The song fits you but you need to practice it a lot," interrupted my husband - his eyes still glued to his laptop.

Where did that come from? Look who finally had something to say while I was in self pity and self agony for the past hour? *

Bla, bla, bla... still disappointed in myself, yet relieved that the tension is out of my system.

* Dre and I have a loving relationship based on sarcasm, light humor, and laughter.